this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
