i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
