Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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