Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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