all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
