All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
