Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
