I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i jhust puked up my retainher.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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