I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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