when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
