Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
