sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
