some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
