The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
