people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
