My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
