you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
