i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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