hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
