Betty ford says i'm here all night
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I wear drunk well.
Congratulations! We have a period
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