We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
