OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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