Me. At least after what I've been through.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
