So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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