absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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