who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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