i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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