Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
