kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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