My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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