did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
