Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
