An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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