i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
