I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
