1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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