haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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