..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Still dying that you shit outside
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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