The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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