are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
