Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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