thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
