There was a lot of him and a little penis
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
