I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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