We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just threw up on my dentist
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
