Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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