shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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