well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We talked him into tasing himself.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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