Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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