drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
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