I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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