But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
